well,
ever since finals, i've had this new image of being a deer slayer, which isn't completly true, however, lately my forum handle of "Coffeyman" just hasn't really been a good description of myself despite recent events.
therefore, i'm going to turn this thread into a suggestion/voting place for anyone who would like to suggest a new name for me. if there is a really good suggestion, i like it, it gets some votes, and it relates to deer, i will change the name.
i believe that having a name like this will remind me of finals this year and inspire me to work hard in the upcoming season so i can beat my newly established goals (SPL and roadkill).


for those of you who do not know the story...
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Dustin's Deer Dilemma

it was a dark and stormy evening, well, actally it wasn't dark and stormy, but it was REALLY dark because is was around 3:00 am. one of the canadain convoys headed for the dB Drag world finals was was travelling swiftly through a desolate hiwhway somewhere in south dakota. team riprock was in the lead, shining it's powerful headlights into the vast beyond of the seemingly empty road with co-co-pilot Andy at the helm of the wheel navigating the nearly uncharted territory. following (almost too) CLOSE benihd was the young and eager dustin and his sidekick michelle (aka team loud n'proud). dustin was piloting the meek and feeble red golf, while michelle adopted a peaceful slumber in the passenger seat. the trek was long and weary and the current driving shift had been going on for hours. it had been what felt like ages since the last rest point and the drivers were getting weary.
dustin, attempting to keep awake at all costs resorted to loud music accompanyed by large amounts of sunflower seeds and caffienated beverages. he could tell by the driving styles of andy, that he too was feeling the effects of the long haul as he began to weave on the road. suddenly, andy made a larger than expected weave on the road, quickly pulling the truck and trailer into the oncoming traffic lane and quickly returning to his own lane.
dustin being somewhat surprised at this was perplexed as to why andy would take such an action. suddenly he realized - andy swerved to avoid the mammoth buck laying dead in the center of his lane. reacting as fast as his tired brain would let him, dustin analyzed the situation - he had two options swerve to the right and run over the beasts' hard head and pointy antlers OR swerve to the left and clip the animals' legs. there was no time to completly avoid the obstruction, but a decision had to be made. dustin cranked the wheel to the left at the last second and the golf responded immediately, but not soon enough. the car rolled over the legs of the deer, clipping them right off and causing blood to be splattered all over the side of the car while the underside components of the vehicle acted as a giant greater tearing up the flesh and scalping the hide of the animal.
while the car travelled on two side wheels after using the dead carcase as it's own little ramp, dustin looked over and then up (at least) six inches and the face of the now awake and excited michelle who was now positioned higher then he and the car was momentarily suspended in air on the passenger side! michelle eyes were as big as 12'' woofers as she screamed in terror not knowing what was going on. finally, the airborn car returned to the ground and dustin managed to steer it back to the middle of the lane.
feeling that the golf should be inspected, dustin got on the radio to alert team riprock up ahead of the incident. "uhh...andy?...we gotta pull over..........i hit that 'thing' on the road back there". so the convoy pulled to the side of the road and the poor red golf was inspected.
it was a catastrophe! blood all along the side of the car, pieces of flesh hanging from the underside, hair and skin stuck to the wheel well - it was a real blood bath, just like out of a horror film. the style of rims on the car had only made it even worse grinding the meat into fine pieces. the heat of the engine caused a stench that was emitting form the car similar to that of semi-cooked meat. After a closer inspection, it was found that the carcase had torn off a portion of the front bumper, but the rest of the car was basically unharmed - a minor price to pay for the size of the incident.
deciding that nothing else could be done at the moment and having to keep a schedule, the drivers climed back into their vehicles and proceeded on with the trip never to mention word of the incident again - well, at least not until a couple of hours later where it seemed to be the ONLY topic of conversation while stopping for food at and IHOP as the sun began to peak over the horison.

By: Dustin Rogers

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and that's how it all happened. any suggestion for a new name?

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Coffeyman
Future Shop - Car/Mobile Audio
(((Loud 'N Proud)))
'98 Red Golf
STREET B - 148.7 dB